"Do not lose courage, then,
if you feel inadequate and incapable
of doing what is expected of you."
-St. Angela Merici

I had a disagreement with a friend today, and I felt inadequate in explaining my opinion and uncomfortable in presenting the reason why I was choosing a specific course of action. My friend was disappointed in my decision. Even though I was certain of my rightness, I was so concerned I would offend that, for a few moments, I was tempted to acquiesce to my friend's wishes. I almost rescinded my decision. How wrong that would have been. For my momentary comfort in placating a friend, I might have opened myself, my friend, and others to harm.

Of course it is possible that my decision and actions are of no consequence and will cause neither joy nor sorrow; however, I cannot trust in being so insignificant, no matter how much it might be desired.

Strength and stubbornness are very different traits. I know that many times the trait people say I possess is only determined by the side of the table on which I am sitting. I can look into a mirror and judge myself. Can I look at the stars and see how God judges me?

Struggles

Please be patient with me as I learn how to use the electronic connections that are available to me. I do not want to overload my work time or present a ponderous presence to those reading what I write. I value time and words.

I am presently working on researching how illness affects a person’s life. I am starting with polio narratives because my mother was a quadriplegic from polio, but I am not limiting myself to only her story.

Peace to all explorers. Life is wondrous.

Light moves in waves, expressed
kisses tightly wrapped in a helix of stars,
nudged nuclear helices shone
in laser beams, unwrapping bright wisdom.

Love, universal as the water in one’s mouth,
never loses weight or size or essence,
the clear quality, the potent power, the tender touch
that caresses each writhing protein, each fume in space.

Silence is one of the necessary comforts. It is essential to clear thought and meditation, to feeling secure in a place. It allows for reading so complete that I can enter a new world. It invites invigorating ideas, and sometimes, it invites peaceful sleep. Silence should not be frightening. It does not wrap me in loneliness, quite the opposite; it leads me to the full awareness that I am not alone.

How frightening it is that so many people are plugged into noise so completely that they cannot hear God.

To have questioning faith is like having clay that is still soft and malleable.
It is frightening to think about molding a vessel that might crumble, that might shatter in the firing. A brick is secure and steady, but it doesn’t hold much.